Being Dateable

January 9th, 2008 by Ender

Some of the most popular sites on the internet are social networking sites. There are sites for professional networking, making friends, hooking-up, or finding love. (see also: long term hooking-up)

There is an ad campaign out there which is leveraging e-harmony’s inability or unwillingness to match 5% of its subscribers by claiming that they can match “anyone.”

In my mind, turning away 5% of its subscribers as unmatchable lends a bit of credibility to e-harmony. Of course in my mind about 75% of the population is undateable so I find a 5% rejection rate to be very gracious.

You (and by ‘you’ I mean the unmatchables) need to stop expecting to find that perfect fit. You need to stop expecting someone out there to compliment your oddities, eccentricities, or whatever it is that makes you unmatchable, and fit into your already established life. If a revenue driven website, whose clientele consists of people so eager to date that they are willing to pay for it, cannot find someone for you, it’s time to self-evaluate and make some personal changes rather than blame the website.

I realize this goes against the ever popular advice to “Be Yourself,” but I’m telling you now: being yourself is over-rated. If ‘yourself’ is undateable, then you have two choices: Be yourself and alone, or improve yourself. Become yourself, perhaps an altered self, a more dateable self. Any happy couple can tell you that a good relationship requires you to communicate, compromise, accommodate, grow, learn, and be discerning.  In most cases you don’t have to change anything about you, just the way you present yourself.

That is the secret to love. First be likable. Then someone might love you.

Posted in Dating, Family & Society, Love, Marriage | 5 Comments »

And A Very Merry Winter Solstice To You, Mr. Scrooge!

December 13th, 2007 by Ender

Even as a Christian, I’m wildly offended at the way my tax dollars are spent.

http://209.157.64.200/focus/f-news/1938280/posts

 

RESOLUTION

Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;

Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

Whereas Christians identify themselves as those who believe in the salvation from sin offered to them through the sacrifice of their savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and who, out of gratitude for the gift of salvation, commit themselves to living their lives in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Bible;

Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its roots in Christianity;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;

Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God’s redemption, mercy, and Grace; and

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives–

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

I can’t figure out if the reason for this is to permit persecution of non-Christians, protect Christmas as the predominant national holiday in December (never mind that the birth of Jesus would have been in the spring,) or is just a needless patting of themselves on the back for belonging to the largest world religion. Are Christians really so insecure in their status that they need to justify it with political recognition?

Posted in Christianity, Religion | 3 Comments »

Happily Ever After

December 10th, 2007 by Ender

It’s become this trendy thing to describe one’s self as a hopeless romantic. As if that is some cute way to imply that they love sappy movies, believe in true love, and a fairy tale ending. That they will be the Prince or Princess charming that some other Prince or Princess has been waiting for.

People need to start realizing that being a “hopeless romantic” is NOT a good thing.

Some synonyms for the word Hopeless:

bad,

desperate,

discouraging,

unpromising,

fruitless,

impossible,

bleak,

doomed to failure.

Is that really the adjective we want to use to proudly describe ourselves? I would love to say that it’s just semantics, but from what I have seen these other words seems to be completely accurate in describing their plight. Semantics or no, this is where the road leads.

What’s worse, is that these romantics often maintain some righteous air of superiority for still “believing” in the impossible, as if they have managed to escape the bitter tainting that “everyone else” was unable to withstand.

I see it in movies all the time. The evil “realistic” person who doesn’t believe in “true love” anymore suddenly finds it and changes their mind to the “right way.” The End.

I have news. Being realistic about love and romance is not synonymous with being bitter and void of the ability to love. Being realistic about love and romance is the highest honor one can pay to the sacredness of love.

Ask anyone; ANY one who has been in a successful and happy long-term relationship and they will tell you a story far different from any fairy tale. They will tell you what it takes to create a love that is happily ever after. They will tell you that without hard work there is NOTHING in life that is worth having, and that includes true love.

Hopeless romantics blaspheme the nature of love when they believe that it exists in and of itself, and is simply a state to enter into, or find oneself in, and that if the love is true, then everything will be easy and wonderful and perfect for ever.

Oh danger, danger. For at the first sign of trouble the fairytale shatters and the Hopeless Romantic is left in a tormented misery because, not only must they cope with the relationship, but must also address the failure of their fairytale.

I want to see more HopeFUL Romantics. I want to see more people approach love and romantic relationships prepared to work and communicate. I want to see people ready to be pliable and adaptable to unknown situations. I want people to know that love is out there, but it must be cultivated and cared for and produced, not just sought after around the next corner, and leaped upon and guarded jealously as a found treasure.

If I live happily ever after it will be because I will work to deserve it.

Posted in Dating, Family & Society, Love, Marriage | 1 Comment »

Friendship 101

December 5th, 2007 by Ender

I’d like to take a step back from the predominant theme of the majority of the blogs on this site, to talk about something other than politics or religion.

 What do you think of when you think of friends?  Are they the people you party with on the weekends?  Are they the people you work with, and subsequently drink with after work?  Or are your best friends those who you’ve known the longest, and though you may not see them very often anymore, you know that you can count on them to be there for the big events, like weddings or funerals?

 To some, friends are those they like to spend all their time with.  For others, they may be those they know they can trust with their life or their secrets.  For still others a friend may be nothing more than a friendly acquaintance that they see and interact with due to their normal range of activity.  

 This is significant because so many of us place a lot of value on the advice and approval of the imprecisely defined “friend.”  Whatever your definition, the one who should decide who your friends are, is you.  Tell me who your friends are, and I will know who YOU are.  Make sure you are choosing the right people to share your life with.

Posted in Family & Society | 2 Comments »

It’s Reefer Madness

November 20th, 2007 by Ender

You may research and believe whichever statistics you like on this subject, but the bottom line is this:

Marijuana is less addicting than cigarettes and less intoxicating than alcohol.

The number of deaths caused by cigarette smoking dwarfs marijuana related deaths by the millions. Alcohol related deaths, (including those caused by accidents while “under the influence”) are astronomically higher than marijuana related accidents. The number of violent crimes committed by people under the influence of marijuana is nearly zero, a number that alcohol can never boast.

I don’t know all of tax and trade related reasons for keeping it illegal, but they are the only reasons worth debating as far as I’m concerned.

To say that the legalization of marijuana sends the wrong message to our children is a sad commentary on the logic of our nation’s lawmakers. If anything, the illegalization of marijuana tells our children that smoking and alcohol are somehow better. If they were more dangerous than pot, they would be illegal, right?

No wonder marijuana is considered a gateway drug. It’s barely intoxicating effect must lure users into assuming that all illegal drugs are “not that bad.”

The truth of it is, we waste an insane amount of tax dollars policing marijuana users when we could be charging tax FOR marijuana sales.

Posted in Drugs, Family & Society, Law | 11 Comments »

Smoking is gross.

November 17th, 2007 by Ender

I’m going to be honest here: Smoking is gross. If you smoke, it’s gross. I don’t care how nice of a person you are, or how much I like you, I don’t want to be around you while you’re smoking. If I wanted to smell like that, I would smoke too. My lack of smoking does nothing to upset your comfort while your smoking denies me of my right not to have to smell that.

I also think it’s gross to defecate. That’s why there are areas designated for that. And it’s never ANYWHERE near where I am eating.

So to sum up: Don’t smoke OR defecate near me in a public place unless you are in a designated smoking or defecating area. Then of course it’s my choice to be there.

Posted in Family & Society, Law | 7 Comments »

Another athiest meets God

November 1st, 2007 by Ender

This is a little tongue in cheek from a post BooMac made eons ago. No disrespect, but this is a different version that is strictly for my own entertainment.

God: Welcome home.
Atheist: Wow, you really exist.
God: Yes I do.
Atheist: Boy do I feel stupid. I thought all the religious people had been brainwashed.
God: Yes well, some of them certainly act that way.
Atheist: I know, right?
God: Well, now you know that I exist.
Atheist: Wow. Awkward. So, hey, I’m really sorry about taking your name in vain so much. Wow, and for never going to church.
God: You didn’t know any better. And you still turned out to be a fine young man. You did the best with what you had.
Atheist: Well, I never saw any proof. No one from any religion or sect could prove to me you existed.
God: I imagine it must have been confusing.
Atheist: No seriously. How was I supposed to know?
God: How do you think they knew?
Atheist: I think they were raised that way!
God: But you were raised a Christian.
Atheist: Yea, but my parents were so illogical sometimes I wanted to scream. It’s like they weren’t happy unless they were suffering.
God: You were blessed with a sharp intellect, but lacking in faith.
Atheist: Can you blame me? No one could even explain why they had faith. They would just spout off contradictions and.. and.. I don’t want to talk about this. It’s so frustrating.
God: I know. It’s frustrating for me too, to be so misunderstood by so many.
Atheist: Why weren’t you more clear!?
God: I wanted people to grow. I wanted them to discover the beauty of my plan on their own. I mean, I chose prophets to guide them and write some instruction, but if I appeared to everyone, then the choices would have been too simple. They wouldn’t have grown.
Atheist: Well, I read the Bible, but it had been translated so many times and had so many inaccuracies, I did not believe it.
God: Yes, it’s not very clear the way it is now.
Atheist: A photo would have been nice.
God: Now you’re being silly.
Atheist: You could have sent someone to tell me, like a new prophet.
God: I did. But just like no one believe that Noah was a prophet, the world didn’t believe in them either.
Atheist: About that… so the flood, that really happened? Because there’s some pretty heavy scientific evidence to contradict that.
God: *muffled God noises*
Atheist: Oh interesting. I get it. I guess I would have like to have seen a miracle to prove to me personally that you existed.
God: Science is a miracle.
Atheist: What?
God: Seriously. Do you have any idea how complex the human circulatory system is?
Atheist: Well yea, that’s why i thought science…
God: Listen, I am a scientist. I’m the greatest scientist in existence.
Atheist: That’s not the way it makes you sound in the Bible.
God: That was written in a time when it was impossible to explain it differently, for people who wouldn’t have understood it differently anyway.
Atheist: Question. Why did you let all the horrible things go on?
God: People seem to think that my role is that of a grand chess master. That the earth is my chessboard, and the inhabitants are my pieces. I’m afraid that just isn’t so. I did create the earth, and I did give instruction. I do influence and inspire great minds with my spirit, and I even try to let my will be known, but I do not, nor will I ever take away man’s power to choose. Your choices are what define you. How could you grow if I forced you to do my will? How could you learn if you weren’t allowed to try? Yes, there was suffering, for which I am endlessly sorrowful, but I still have faith in mankind.
Atheist: God. You are the man.
God: I really am.
Atheist: Are we cool?
God: Totally.
Atheist: So can I come in? [motioning toward heaven]
God: You’ll have to see Jesus about that. I’m pretty sure he’s still requiring baptism and you’ll also have to take his name upon you.

whereIstand Tags

Posted in Religion | 4 Comments »

Bibliolatry

November 1st, 2007 by Ender

Show me two people who believe the Holy Bible to be the inerrant word of God, whose teachings are to be regarded as absolute, and I will show you two people who do not agree with one another.

Even if the Bible is true and perfect, it is without question impossible to interpret by any standard measure of consistency. One part may be symbolic, another allegorical, another literal, another figurative, another multi-faceted, and so on.

For every “proof” found in the Bible, there is often a contradicting proof found as well.

I feel that Christians feel that they must hold to the inerrancy of the Bible because they permit themselves to question one part of the book, the whole thing would be lost. There would be no solid foundation to return to for answers in matters of faith; that without an indisputable source of truth, Christianity would be reduced to matters of opinion. But hasn’t it already? Is one man’s interpretation of scripture as good as the next? I can’t think of a less productive conversation than one in which every sentence begins with, “it says in the Bible…”

“I always thought that Christians came to an understanding of the truth through much prayer, study, and by being informed of the Spirit. I didn’t know we could just look up the answers to all the hard questions.” — Steve Falkenberg

I’m troubled to see Christians engage in radical zealotry over the Bible. The scriptures were given to man for their use and study, not to be worshiped. It seems unlikely that those who compiled the contents of the Bible got everything in there that was ever written by prophets of God. They didn’t even get the chronology correct! And yet Bibliolatrists argue that it is perfect, complete, and irrefutably accurate despite the many many unanswered questions regarding countless points of doctrine.

–1 Cor 3:11 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Give it up Bible worshipers. Worship your Lord Jesus.

whereIstand Tags

Posted in Bible, Religion | 4 Comments »

The Attitude of Religionists

September 13th, 2007 by Ender

Concerning Carol’s blog about Paul’s comment on her 9/11 blog, and Carol’s rebuttal to Billy’s blog regarding Mr. E’s comments on said blog: I have to agree with Carol.

While I greatly respect Billy’s interpretation of what Paul “was trying to say” (as I am a renowned apologist myself) Carol makes a very valid point.

The Bible quotes Jesus as saying that one’s language should be “Yea yea, or nay nay.” Christians should say what they mean and mean what they say and not use testimony as a manipulation tool.

Well meaning only goes so far. We also need to be accountable for our actions and words, not just our intentions. “The road to hell is paved…”

As for the rest of Billy’s post, and from a non-religious standpoint, it reminds me of all the old sayings about attitude like: “One man’s stumbling block is another man’s stepping stone,” and so on.

While I concede that the logic used by Carol and Mister E in this case is quite accurate, I don’t begrudge the believers for choosing to find positives in an otherwise overwhelmingly sad situation. We all resort to different self-preservation tactics when it comes to our emotions.

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Posted in Religion | 6 Comments »

Tenure in heaven

September 3rd, 2007 by Ender

This makes no sense to me. And I’m not saying I need more Biblical quotes on salvation. If anything, if this were true, I would expect the Bible to be much much shorter; maybe a single page insert on how to be saved. Step one: Accept Jesus. Step Two: Ask for forgiveness. Step Three: Do whatever you want – we’d really like you to be good, but you don’t have to. It’s not required at all.

Do you truly believe that a “saved” person could later abort babies, convert to scientology, commit murder, or do any number of other Christian-deemed atrocities and still be welcome into the same heaven?

I want to understand this concept because it doesn’t seem to agree with Christian behavior. Why are Christian parents so enraged when their children ‘become’ homosexuals? If they were already saved in advance wouldn’t they just shrug and say, “well, thank goodness you got yourself saved first?”

How do you know if you’re saved? Does being saved require a change in behavior, or simply the genuine heart felt single moment of accepting Jesus and asking for forgiveness? How old do you have to be to be saved? Can you get your kid saved before puberty? That would be an really smart strategic move for parents I would think.

Why did God make the Jews have so many rules if there was really only one… and he never told it to them? Is this the reason most Christians I meet can’t carry on a dynamic spiritual discussion? Because they just don’t NEED to know enough to be bothered to really study? They have their salvation on their sleeve, what else do they need to know about “details.”

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Posted in Homosexuality, Parenting, Religion | 4 Comments »

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