2 Legit 2 Quit

My purple Jesus

Two hundred and ninety six

More to come, I’m sure

As Wild Card weekend approaches, testosterone and trash talking are beginning to fill the air. Breathe in deep, it will be gone before you know it.

In the first of many inevitable side stories that the media will forcefully insert into the pre-game pundit chatter, Fred Taylor is taking shots at the Steelers.

The coach? The quarterback? The terrible-towels? The answer is D: None of the Above.

I can hear Tomlin now: “Men, this guy thinks we don’t know how to mow our own lawn. He thinks we live in squalor. Now I don’t know about you, but my family doesn’t live in any damn squalor, does yours? Does your daughter roll around in the mud?! Now let’s go out there and bury this guy in the ground he so disrespectfully calls pathetic!” Talk about your bulletin board material…

But seriously, knocking John Q. Groundskeeper seems a bit harsh, Fred. It seems perfectly fair to assume somebody will take offense to this comment: what individual wouldn’t be at least a little bit ashamed if you were to attack their ability to do their job? But what makes this attack so unique is it’s not like the guy can respond to the comments from inside the locker room to defend his line of work. Furthermore, this wreaks of “just in case we got crushed, I can revert back to this as an excuse.” Now, Fred Taylor has never come across as this type of guy, or anything short of a consummate professional (he’s never complained about his multiple pro-bowl snubs) which makes this comment that much more unsettling.

So as a general rule, save the trash talking to people who can settle the matter on the field…it just doesn’t seem fair to hit a guy who isn’t wearing pads — or at least a headset or Reebok licensed piece of apparel.

whereIstand Tags

• Was the NFL’s punishment of Patriots head coach Bill Belichick appropriate?
• Should Michael Vick be banned from the NFL?
• Are former NFL players sufficiently compensated by the National Football League Players Association for their post-career injuries?
• Should the NFL have rules limiting end-zone celebrations?
• Will Michael Vick be able to successfully return to the NFL?
• Is Adrian Peterson the best running back in the NFL?
• Should the NFL reinstate Pacman Jones?
• Should the NFL eliminate preseason games?
• Should the NFL reinstate Ricky Williams?
• Should the NFL expand its regular season beyond 16 games?
• Who is the best offensive player in the NFL?
• Who will win the AFC North?
• Who will win the AFC South?

Let me start by saying I hate the Giants and the Patriots. In fact, as much as I root against some teams here and there, this week’s Saturday night showdown features the only two teams I consistently and ferociously root to fail, week in and year out.

That being said, when Week 17 rolled out on the NFL calender a few months ago, I chuckled at how torn I would be when it came to who I would support in this game. But thanks to a Buffalo collapse (and consequent Giants clinch) last weekend, my decision is easy: fuck the Patriots, let’s go Big Blue; no qualms about it. So when it comes to the debate over what head coach Tom Coughlin should do, I am gung ho about him trotting his starting, most competitive team out there to try and derail (no chance) the Pats perfect season (dear god…)

BUT…

How the tits can he do that and justify his decision? There have been a myriad of columns urging the soon-to-be-out-of-a-job man to “step up” and “play for the upset“. Why should the Giants care if the Pats go undefeated? Why should they risk their head trying to sort out somebody else’s (mostly mine, as a Jets fan) problem? If they were playing the Bengals, would anybody be suggesting that Plaxico Burress suit up, let alone see the field?

The only thing that should make any difference to Coughlin, Elisha, Brandon Jacobs, or Jerry Reese is trying to steal the NFC Super Bowl spot. A long shot? Sure. Which is why resting a banged up team the week before going into a very winnable road playoff game (the Giants might suck, but so do the Bucs and ‘Hawks and you know it) is not only the right move, its the only move.

For weeks now we have been told that “this is their Super Bowl”, referring to whatever team was set to line up against Brady that particular Sunday: the Eagles, Ravens, Jets (god bless their souls) and Dolphins all played knowing a win would salvage an otherwise lost season. So despite the normal tendency for a shit team to send out backup offensive lineman and wide receivers to essentially audition for next year, each of these teams got up and tried to knock the Gladiators off their pedestal. Each team gave it its best shot. Each came up short. No coaching decisions questioned there.

But with the Giants, they have something to play for — and it’s not this week. What happens on Saturday makes no difference in the grand scheme of their season. Their “Super Bowl” is the same as every other playoff team’s: the actual Super Bowl. The Giants, and beleaguered Coughlin and Elisha in particular, need to win a playoff game. Plain and simple. Beating the Pats on Saturday would be a great regular season finale, but if it is followed by an early post-season exit, nobody is gonna find solace in a Week 17 upset, and nobody is going to care about Coughlin’s story while he stands in the soup line.

So a memo to Mr. Coughlin: the Pats are none of your business. Coach as if you were playing a 5-10 team, because in the end, nobody that pays your salary really cares about your Week 17 ‘W’ or ‘L’, no matter how many national television networks are simulcasting the game. Rest your troops and prepare for the battle down in Tampa or Seattle: that is where the real war will begin to be waged.

God I wish they could both lose.

whereIstand Tags

• Was the NFL’s punishment of Patriots head coach Bill Belichick appropriate?
• Should Michael Vick be banned from the NFL?
• Are former NFL players sufficiently compensated by the National Football League Players Association for their post-career injuries?
• Should the NFL have rules limiting end-zone celebrations?
• Will Michael Vick be able to successfully return to the NFL?
• Is Adrian Peterson the best running back in the NFL?
• Should the NFL reinstate Pacman Jones?
• Should the NFL eliminate preseason games?
• Should the NFL reinstate Ricky Williams?
• Should the NFL expand its regular season beyond 16 games?
• Who is the best offensive player in the NFL?
• Who will win the NFC East?
• Will the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl?
• Who will win the AFC East?
• Will the New England Patriots go undefeated during the 2007 regular-season?
• What effect will Randy Moss’ acquisition have on the New England Patriots?
• Are the 2007 New England Patriots the best football team of all time?

We all know about how much money schools and football programs stand to make if their team receives a Bowl bid, or better yet, a BCS Bowl bid, but what do the players get?

First and foremost, each man is provided the unique opportunity to showcase, on a national stage for a national audience, who they are, what they are capable of, and why you should offer them a job upon graduation — an invaluable opportunity considering these kids’ aspirations of playing in the NFL in the not-so-distant future.

That, and free shit!

And people want there to be a college football playoff…

whereIstand Tags

• Is the BCS an effective method for determining the national champion?
• Should the BCS weigh mid-major and major conference teams equally?
• Who will win the 2008 BCS National Championship?
• Do Ohio St. and LSU deserve to play in the national championship game?
• Should college football institute a playoff system?
• Was the Applachian St. victory over Michigan the greatest upset in college football history?

Look at that changeup

Flushing is calling your name

In Omar we Trust

George Mitchell could be Peter Gammons’ paternal grandfather…seriously, in the history of narcs ruining everybody else’s fun, has one ever looked so sinister and cold as GM? Forget that, has any audible human ever looked so close to death? Try some V8, Mr. Mitchell, it might bring back the color to your otherwise lifeless body.

Bud Selig just better thank god that Mitchell didn’t utter the names “Ripken” or “Jeter” in his 1,345,284,893 page report. That would have really rocked the boat…

Andy Pettitte is amazing: he put the “human” back into “human growth hormone.” He is the only guy who can come out and apologetically admit to using HGH and conjure up a collective, Full House episode-ending “awwwww” from the general public. None of the other players who stepped forward after being linked to ‘roids gave off that 12-year-old “I know what I did was wrong and the lesson learned is more positive than the mistake made was negative” vibe like Pettitte..somehow this guy stays classy, even in his most classless moments. I bet you this: the University of Texas would bring him back as a speaker if he were an alum…

If anybody is still wondering if being linked to juice makes any difference to your attractiveness in MLB, go talk to Eric Gagne and Miguel Tejada. Amazing. What lessons are we supposed to teach our youth about why it is so terrible to cheat and why it is so painstakingly important that they steer clear of such evil vices? Even if you get busted, you can probably still fetch 10 million a year.

A bogus list leaked on the internet about an hour before Mitchell’s presser began…the most notable name included on that list that was NOT included on the official report:Darryl Kile. That’s just sad…thank god his family wasn’t forced to make a statement defending him by the grave.

Also on that list: Jason Varitek. Man I was ready to throw that in the face of Red Sox nation…you sidestepped that bullet; good thing Mitchell dons a big red “B” whenever he’s at the ballpark

whereIstand Tags

• What effect with will the Mitchell Report have on Major League Baseball?
• Will the Mitchell Report deter baseball players from using performance enhancing drugs?
• What effect will the Mitchell Report have on Major League Baseball?
• Was the Mitchell Report effective?
• Should players named in the Mitchell Report be penalized?

Rumblin’ tumblin’ kid

Once mistook for a real man

More tattoos than heart

whereIstand Tags

• Should the New York Knicks fire Isiah Thomas?
• Who will win the Atlantic Division? (expired: 2008-04-17 12:00 AM)
• Who will win the Atlantic Division? (Time remaining: 174 days, 18 hours, 12 minutes)